First Date Tips – He Said/She Said

He Said: 

Advice for dating can get overwhelming. To keep things simple, split it into four parts: Prep, beginning, middle, and end. This may seem strange but stick with me here. We start with prep.

Prep:

The most important thing to prep is your mindset. Ask yourself: why did I choose to go on a date with this person? This isn’t meant to be a mean question but rather a serious look at yourself and why you want to spend more quality time with this person. Next ask: what do I know about this person. Making a mental list of what you know going in can help build conversation

Beginning:

For the beginning of your date my best advice is to be ON TIME! No one likes to be left waiting, especially on a first date.It is a simple gesture to be on time but always can get you off on the right foot. Also, don’t stress too much about first impressions. These can be changed no matter what anyone tells you. So stress less about the beginning and focus on the middle.

Middle:

In the middle of your date is where your mental prep work comes into play. No matter what you are doing on your date conversation is important. Your best asset is your prep questions, ask about your date: what interested you in the first place, and more about what you already know. For example, say you know your date likes cars (cliche I know), then you can ask which cars they like, or better yet, why they like cars. “Why” is a powerful asset in continuing conversation and learning about a person. Truth be told everyone likes to talk about themselves. And not in a selfish way, but because that’s what they know the most about, as they should. So ask about your date! My other piece of advice for the middle of the date is to leave the conversation with something you find important about yourself. Think of the most important aspect of your life and try to weasel that in just before your goodbyes. This does two things: 1) test your compatibility based on their response, and 2) the end of the date will be the most likely remembered part, therefore you should save your favorite topic for last.

End:

The end of the date comes our worst fear as men: the kiss or no kiss goodbye. To be honest there is no right answer and it comes down to a case by case basis. My best advice here is you shouldn’t be afraid to do the wrong thing. That doesn’t mean jump the gun and go crazy on a poor unsuspecting date, but you are better off being confident in your decision.

I know I didn’t touch what to wear or what exactly to say in my advice. My advice is this: don’t look like like a slob. So long as you look decent and focus more on the conversation (questions questions questions!) I trust you to power through! I know I told you to ask questions a lot here, but make sure you listen to the answers and learn about your date. Good luck!

She Said:

Plan ahead

• I know you are going to try on a hundred different outfits before your date but this doesn’t mean that you need to be an hour late. Try narrowing down your outfits to two or three the night before. This will give you a chance to sleep on your decision and will make you feel more confident and prepared! Don’t want to make that decision alone? Make a night out of it! Invite your favorite girl friends over, pick an outfit, share some tips and advice, do makeup test trials! Remember we are all in this together!

Set your filter

• There’s no doubt you are excited and a little nervous. If you are anything like me, you talk even more when you are either. Instead, make sure to breathe and decide where your boundaries are. You don’t want to say too much on a first date. There are a lot of topics you can avoid for now.  For example, past relationships, political views or anything that can lead to a TMI moment!

Put your phone away

• I know for some people this can be difficult, but if someone is investing time into you and wants to get to know you, they should be face to face with you, NOT the back of your phone! This can give off wrong messages like; you aren’t interested, there’s something more important, or you are bored.  I mean, think about it the opposite way, if you were asking a guy a question about themselves, and they kept checking their phones wouldn’t you be kinda annoyed?

Be polite and not just to him   

• If you go on a dinner date make sure you are polite to your wait staff as well as your date. The person you are with is going to want to see how you interact with others so that they know how you will be when you meet important people in their lives like family, friends or co workers. So be on your best behavior.

Get to know him 

• Going back to my comment about not talking too much. One major way to avoid this is to ask him about himself. As gorgeous as your voice is my darling, you should not be the only one talking all night. Get to know him, I mean after all this is a two way street!

Learn how to take a compliment

– I know it’s hard sometimes when you are insecure about yourself (trust me, been there, felt that), but he doesn’t want to have to fight to compliment you. You are a beautiful, independent woman who deserves the world and he just wants you to know that. So breathe in, breathe out and do these three easy steps; 1) say thank you, 2) complement back, and 3) just move on.